Saturday, April 11, 2009

Joffrey Lupul: Homewrecker

Comcast Sports Net Philadelphia decided to air a big, in-depth, hard hitting playoff preview show this Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday in order to build up their playoff coverage. Not a bad idea. You would assume there would be a breakdown of the Flyers' and their opponent's strengths and weaknesses, how they match up against each other, maybe a review of previous contests this season. You would assume that. But you would be oh so wrong.

Instead of focusing on the X's and O's, Comcast and Steve Coates have decided to focus on the eternal struggle between a man's wife and his teammate who he is apparently cheating on her with.

In an odd hybrid of The Newlywed Game and Jerry Springer called "Affairs of the Hart," Steve Coates puts pits Joffrey Lupul and Lisa Hartnell against one another in the most recent of their many battles for Scott Hartnell's love.

One would think Lisa would have the advantage Scott's wife, but Joffrey gets to sit next to Scott on flights to exotic destinations like Columbus, playing his guitar seductively as they get lost in each other's eyes.


It's a horribly public for this love triangle to fight itself out. Joffrey's answers get all the laughs, while Lisa is left to nervously laugh at her own responses, met with only silence.

Lisa tries to win Scott's heart back by cooking him some dinner (after he annoys his teammates and coaches at practice):



And Scott repays her by cooking an elaborate dinner for two with all sorts of special secret ingredients, the most special of all the ingredients being a generous sprinkling of love:



Except, as you can see, Lisa wasn't invited to this romantic dinner for two in her own home. Scott waited until she was out of town and called over his true love, Joffrey, to share in this meal of the heart.

"But Salmon, guys are always making romantic salad dinners for one another!"

Riiiight.

Is Joffrey Lupul destroying the Hartnells' marriage? Probably. Joffrey better watch his back, though--Lisa's just sitting around with nothing to do but practice shooting him in the head over and over again on the two Buck Hunter machines in her apartment.

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