Orange--You Glad?

Today for the first time since May 3rd, 1999, the Flyers will wear orange for a playoff game. This is the first time since April 6th, 1969, that the Flyers will wear orange for a home playoff game.

I apologize for how uninteresting that is, and I apologize to myself for wasting so much time figuring those dates out.

Flyer Blood to the Highest Bidder

The Flyers are more about making their opponents bleed than actually bleeding their own blood. Because of its scarcity, Flyer blood is a precious commodity, a sound investment in these troubled economic times. Flyer blood can be worn in a vial around the neck to ward off evil, or used to extract DNA so parents wanting the best can make their baby a Flyer spawn. There are rumors out there that the reason the Octomom has had so many kids is because her sperm donor is Gary Dornhoefer. It would explain a lot.

My previous searches for Flyer blood had come up empty until just now, when I stumbled upon this treasure on the world's online blood marketplace--eBay. A game-worn Rick MacLeish jersey from the seventies, doused with a nice amount of Rick's own blood. Not only is there blood on the jersey, but it's mythology details how this modern day Shroud of Turin spent time in a landfill, which had to have enhanced its mystical powers immensely.

Bidding starts at the absurdly low price of $1.

Rick MacLeish's blood is a powerful elixir to be sure, my friends. Bid early, bid often. Don't let this once in a lifetime opportunity pass you by. Just look at all the other Flyers essentials you've already missed on eBay (FGSB).

(If you prefer ways to get close to Rick MacLeish that don't involve quite as many bodily fluids, I recommend watching his domination of Showdown '78.)

Luck of the Flyerish

Saint Patrick's Day is only a week away, boys and girls, and yours truly will be there in person as a lucky charm for the Flyers, especially the little leprechaun that is Daniel Briere. But while I'm at Joe Louis Arena gorging myself on $1 pretzels and celebrating my Irishness with a dozen or so $3 beers (between 6 and 7 pm), there are plenty of things you can buy to make your Flyers Saint Patrick's Day experience just as special.

The good folks over at the NHL want to make sure you take advantage of this booming economy and spend your money on Flyers apparel that can only be used on this one day of the year. And as an incredible as a four-leaf clover, the NHL Store's Saint Patrick's Day Section offers more items for the Flyers than they do for any other team in the league except the Penguins, for whom there are also a whopping FIFTEEN items available for next Tuesday.

So no longer should you be torn between your compulsions to wear green and wear Flyers stuff on game night. You can spend up to $454 dollars on the collection of Saint Patrick's Day Flyers gear, and that's assuming you're cheap and only buy one of each item.

Here are some of my personal favorites:

Old Time Hockey 2009 St. Patrick's Day Philadelphia Flyers Dalkey Hooded Sweatshirt -- $39.99

Because nothing says Flyers like an angry leprechaun head. Also makes a great gift for your favorite illiterate Notre Dame fan. The "F" can also pass for several other letters, which is great if you're also an Alyers or Jlyers fan.


Old Time Hockey 2009 St. Patrick's Day Women's Philadelphia Flyers Caitlin T-shirt -- $19.99

For your girlfriend, Caitlin, who is a big Flyers fan. She loves it when guys stare at her boobs try to read the small writing across her shirt. As seen above, the shirt comes already crooked, which is great because Caitlin has MASSIVE scoliosis.



Inglasco Limited Edition Philadelphia Flyers St. Patrick's Day Puck - Shop.NHL.com Exclusive! -- $12.99 $9.99

I can't believe they reduced the price on this baby! A Flyers St. Patrick's Day puck??? Think of all the things you could do with that! You could look at it, and then put it down somewhere! And then maybe look at again, and put it somewhere again! It's a limited edition, so you gotta hurry folks.

Happy Shopping!