Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Flyer Blood to the Highest Bidder

The Flyers are more about making their opponents bleed than actually bleeding their own blood. Because of its scarcity, Flyer blood is a precious commodity, a sound investment in these troubled economic times. Flyer blood can be worn in a vial around the neck to ward off evil, or used to extract DNA so parents wanting the best can make their baby a Flyer spawn. There are rumors out there that the reason the Octomom has had so many kids is because her sperm donor is Gary Dornhoefer. It would explain a lot.

My previous searches for Flyer blood had come up empty until just now, when I stumbled upon this treasure on the world's online blood marketplace--eBay. A game-worn Rick MacLeish jersey from the seventies, doused with a nice amount of Rick's own blood. Not only is there blood on the jersey, but it's mythology details how this modern day Shroud of Turin spent time in a landfill, which had to have enhanced its mystical powers immensely.

Bidding starts at the absurdly low price of $1.

Rick MacLeish's blood is a powerful elixir to be sure, my friends. Bid early, bid often. Don't let this once in a lifetime opportunity pass you by. Just look at all the other Flyers essentials you've already missed on eBay (FGSB).

(If you prefer ways to get close to Rick MacLeish that don't involve quite as many bodily fluids, I recommend watching his domination of Showdown '78.)

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