Stale Hate

One of the many frustrating things about playing Pittsburgh in the first round is that it deprives Flyers fans of the opportunity to get to hate someone new. Last year saw the Flyers face both the Capitals and Canadiens for the first time since the 1980s. Part of the reason I was looking forward to playing the Hurricanes was because it would mean playing a new team, getting acquainted with and falling in hate with a whole new group of people, a whole new fanbase.

Instead, we get to play the Penguins. Our big rival. The team who broke our hearts last year.

Yawn.

Playing the Penguins, as someone else put it somewhere (how's that for citation), is like dessert before the icing. Every Pittsburgh game is such an treat. But it's a treat we've had a lot before. Playing the Penguins in the first round is like eating the first eleven chocolate eclair ice cream bars in the box in one sitting (which is awesome because they're delicious), and then having eating the twelfth one because Gary Bettman is forcing you to. You enjoyed the first eleven, but you're pretty damn full, and you know that this last Pittsburgh-colored chocolate eclair ice cream bar would taste a lot better if you could just wait a while. I wish there was time before eating this last eclair bar to get the previous eleven out of your systems in what would certainly be an epic trip to the bathroom. I'm guessing that's how a lot of the Flyers (and maybe the Penguins) are feeling right now, especially the always constipated Andrew Alberts and Hal Gill.

And that's a big part of the reason I haven't had a lot to say about this series. I've got epic brain freeze, I'm full, and a little nauseous at the thought of having to cram more of this crap down my throat.

I'll recover by 7:01 pm Wednesday, I'm sure, but in the mean time I'm gonna need some Tums. Or maybe Alyonka Larionov can teach me how to be bulimic.